A Terrifying Silence
by Chibi Lurrel
Summary: 1x2 implied angsty little fic. Duo thinks about life, and churches, and the quiet.


A Terrifying Silence-

*gasp* A fic called silence *not* about Trowa, but DUO? Can it be? Yesh, it can. So read it! And then review. Any reviews welcome, praise, flames, or constructive critisims will all be gladly accepted! ^_^

Silence. I can't stand it. Silence drives me onto the edge, grating against my nerves. I guess that's why I talk so damn much, not to annoy people but to fill the silence. Some people say they like quiet. Quiet I can stand. But it's total lack of noise that scares me. It feels like I'm standing in an empty white hole, sucked in and screaming and no one can hear me. 

I can't stand silence. I used to love the Maxwell Church during the day. There was always a soft, comforting hum of prayer that was constant. It reminded me very much of a mother's soothing voice to comfort a child. Not that I would know, but that's what I imagine it as. A soft, happy, yet reverent hum. It was so nice and enveloping. I would just sit there in a pew when I was upset and let it wash over me. 

But at night, the Maxwell Church terrified me. It was silent. Absolutely silent. I remember stumbling in there once, at night. The moonlight through stained glass window cast forbidden shadows onto plaster angels and saints. They leered at me from the darkness. I simply stood there, staring, to paralyzed with fear to move or breath. And then the silence hit me, like a brick wall, like a tsunami wave of soundlessness had crashed over me, smothering me with itself and refusing to move, drowning me in its depths. I wanted to scream then, being a child it was the natural instinct. But I couldn't. The silence had taken my voice. I couldn't breath. It hung heavy over the empty pews, suffocating me. 

My gaze fell upon the heavy crucifix that hung behind the pulpit. The look of agony forever engraved on the Messiah's face looked horrific in the dim light. I took a step back, finally regaining power to move, but my feet made no sound against the hard floor. I turned toward the exit, but something held me back. I don't know what. I simply stood there, listening to nothing and trying to breathe evenly as the nothing terrified me.

Suddenly the silence shattered at the sound of feet falling behind me. It was as though a glass window had shattered, the difference was so great. I whirled around to face Father Maxwell standing there, his hands clasped in front of him. "Duo, what are you doing out so late!?" he cried. The silence that was so thick just moments ago now seemed to lay in fragments on the ground. To be honest, now I can't even remember what I said. I just know that he led me away and scolded me and then I went to bed, or something. But the silence… That stuck with me forever, it seems. I still have dreams about it. Only they're much, much worse. 

That's why I like rooming with Heero. He's never silent, though always quiet. I have very sensitive ears. Just his breathing isn't silent. His presence is comforting. I can never sleep when it's silent. The clacking of keys on his laptop lulls me to sleep at night. I love that, no matter how much I always bitch at him to get off the damn thing, the noise is comforting. Maybe that's why he bothers to keep me around. Maybe the way I babble on incessantly is comforting in a way to him. I hope so. I'd like to see him comforted the emotions behind eyes too young for their age eased for just a moment. 

I lie there on the bed, eyes closed, simply listening to the sound of fingers hitting keys and hushed breathing, letting sensation of the senses wash over my body and ears. "Heero, why don't you give it a rest and come to bed for once?" I ask lazily, an oft repeated and oft ignored request. Neither of us ever takes it seriously. But for once, I hear the keys stop, and the quiet sigh of the computer shutting down, and the faint click of it shutting.

"Wow, actually listening to me for once?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yeah. Thought maybe you needed a little company."

He lay down on the bed beside me, propping his head up behind his hands. "So, what's on your mind?" he asked softly. 

"Really now! Prompting me to talk and all, it's so out of character it-"

"Just answer the question, k?"

"I dunno. Thinking back to my childhood days, in the Maxwell Church."

"You still are a child, baka." 

"So're you!"

Heero shook his head. "I never was one, I think. Not that I can remember."

I opened my eyes and looked into his. On one of my colony hopping missions, I remember having my fortune told by a gypsy woman at a fair or something. She looked into my eyes and said very solemnly and worriedly that I had an 'age beyond my few years, a very old soul.' I can see her now, saying it with a slight accent that I couldn't place. 'A veeeery ooooollllld soouul.' Well, if she could have looked into those cobalt blue pools, she would have said the same thing. Only it would have been an understatement. I sighed.

"Of course you were, once. So was I. But we aren't any more, I know that."

He nodded and sighed. I slinked an arm around his shoulder and closed my eyes again, listening to the steadiness of his breathing and the gentle whir of the ceiling fan. Sleep crept up silently and claimed me.

~Owari~

****

*sigh* Inspired sorta kinda by Chibi Stratus's ficcie 'Never to Say,' currently poasted up as '0.Never to Say' to boost it's readership! (Sorry, but true!) I know, shameless promotion aside, it's true that that's what inspired me so NYAH! NYAH!

Er, also, I kow I promised a 2+5, but Heero fit this one so NYAH again. It's coming soon, don't worry.

Apology: Nooo, I don't know a lot about churches and stuff, not being a Christian but a Buddhist (and a lazy, baaaad Buddhist at that. *sigh*) So don't yell at me for details about it, k? And I don't know much about Duo's Episode Zero, having only seen a few scans from the manga untranslated, I know the story and stuff, but yet again, no details so don't yell at me, please?

Disclaimers: Lalalalala! I dun't own Gundam Wing, I own this ficcie and a refrigarator box and that'sall! ^_^

Standerd Review Beg Notice- I WANT REVIEWS SO IF YOU'RE READIN' THIS REVIEW K? CAUSE YA KNOW I LOVE YA AND I WANNA HEAR FROM YOU! ANY KIND OF REVIEWS APPRICIATED! ^_~

Standerd Shameless Promtion Notice- Check out my webby site, k? I need outsiders to go there and boost my self-esteem so I can get off my lazy behind and actually get around to creating an ALL GUNDAM WING site, k?

[Chibi Lurrel's Wonderful Werld!][1]

Jaaaa! ^_~

   [1]: http://www.ghg.net/doverland/Homepage/helloworld.html



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